EvaMess
by Novaloria
Summary: Altered events following the Nerv power cut.
1. Prelude

Just a note: EvaMess was the prototype name. I am *****so*** **open to suggestions.

N/A Productions have, due to popular demand, decided to exclude the generic disclaimer. Word is, Gainax don't care anyway.

Prelude: **Regret and the Beginning of the End**

I'm sitting backed up against the wall of a desolated building. Around me, the world is in its final state of collapse – the sky is devoid of light and the oceans run red with the blood of the innocent. 

What can I say? My intentions were good, from the very start, but somehow along the way what I intended and the actual result diverged unexpectedly. I cannot absolve myself of the deed, nor can I claim full responsibility for what has happened. 

Perhaps it would be better for me to start at the beginning, rather than to weight you down now with statements for which you will have little understanding. It has always revolved around the question, or questions that have haunted me these past few years. 

--

"Hold one minute, please." stated the operator on the other end of the line. 

'It's weird' Shinji thought, 'that they don't ask for identification or anything - anyone could-"

"What?" came an annoyed and coldly familiar voice from the speaker. Having been wrapped up in his own thoughts, Shinji had heard no indication of a transfer over to his father, and he found himself lost for words.

"I'm supposed.. to tell my parent that, that an interview, for ,uhm, 'advanced vocational education' is.. is going to be held, at school.. I wondered-" But again he found himself cut off by the dismissing tone.

"I've delegated all of that to Katsuragi. You will not bother me with such nonsense in future - I have no time for such trivial concerns. Don't call this number again unless there's an.." 

And then the phone went dead, leaving Shinji wondering whether his father had intentionally ended the call, or whether a problem had arisen at Nerv. He would find out soon enough.

--

At around the same time in Central Dogma, decisions were being made whose consequences form the beginnings of our tale. 

"Divert all remaining power to maintain the Magi and Central Dogma. Do it! The Magi must be kept functional!" boomed Fuyutsuki to the bridge crews hastily rerouting what circuits remained functional. 

Now, while the Magi remained functional as per orders, it must be said that the extent of their computational abilities were severely hampered by the power outage, the radar range of tracking systems, specifically those for the tracking of high-energy signals such as those produced by the Angels, were practically blinded. 

So it was that two signals escaped the detection of the Magi's sensor feeds - the Angel, and another sudden surge of energy in one of the abandoned districts to the west of the city centre. So it was the their arrival escaped detection entirely. Or almost. 

--

Rei paused mid-step on the second flight of stairs down from her apartment. She was certain that Ikari and Sohryu would be passing by within a few moments, and that they would require her assistance in some capacity. Ikari in particular seemed incapable of maintaining himself sufficiently, and he occasionally required a probe in the right direction. But a feeling, the word itself entirely alien to her, was nagging at the corner of her mind - that something of equal importance was in progress, and that she should know what, though for the life of her she did not. Eventually, the feeling subsided, and resolutely memorising the sensation and dismissing it from her active mind, she hurried to intercept her fellow pilots.

--

The pilots secured in their plugs, and them in turn inserted into their respective Evas, Gendo strode from the command deck to an elevator whose power was being sustained by a large portion of the emergency reserves. Fuyutsuki watched him leave, and hesitated before walking purposely in the Commander's office to glance again at the message a small receiving station within Tokyo-3 had transmitted moments before through Nerv's one remaining communications line. 

Readouts printed incessantly from the busied terminal, and the line remained firmly blocked by the unceasing influx of information. 

'There will be no alerting Seele of our predicament this time,' mused the sub-commander resignedly, 'a further grudge they will hold against us' - another black mark on their chart of Nerv's increasingly disobedient behaviour.

"But this, this was not entirely expected. The Scrolls spoke of such an occurrence, but even they are subject to error, it was assumed..' But the irony would continue past Ikari's earlier comment. 

"Mankind's greatest enemy is man himself" mumbled Fuyutsuki, unconsciously echoing his former pupil. "So it's only right that as the eighteenth angel, it should be members of our own species that will prophetically end the Evangelion project - one way or another. And if the reports are to be believed, they just arrived."

To Be Continued


	2. The Philosophy of Time Travel

Note: This is an extended version of the second chapter – the 3rd would've started at an awkward place, so the 2nd is now twice as long. I'm hoping that I can sustain this chapter length in the successive chapters. First Encounter: The Philosophy of Time Travel 

_"The first question is something philosophers have been postulating ever since the concept was imagined. If you could travel back in time, rewrite the wrongs that have happened in order to make way for a better future, would you? I must confess, I myself could never do such a thing. I have never sought anything but the truth, and meddling in the affairs of others, whose situations I can never hope to fully understand myself, is something I would never trust myself with._

Here lay my ultimate failing - for rather than go back myself, I sent others there in my place. The only two people I could trust, besides myself, to adjust history in an unselfish way, to tamper only when necessary, to do what I could not."

Anon, 2016

---

"Wha? Bright lights!" Asuka's screeches and cursings could be heard several blocks away, until with a 'click', the artificial lights around her were extinguished.

"They came back on sometime around midnight - remember?" queried Shinji, looking over from desk in the corner of the room.

"Idiot, and you didn't think to turn them off? And what the hell are you doing in my room again?!"

"Everywhere was dark. I- I just wanted to be closer to.. other people."

Asuka narrowed her eyes at him, and satisfied with his responding cringe, sighed heavily and levered herself up into a sitting position on the bed.

"I suppose I couldn't just say "I'm bored" and forget about anything Eva-related today?" she mumbled complacently, fidgeting with a stray lock of hair.

Shinji tried to overcome a blush at the reference, and got up from his chair, choosing a space on the bed not too far from her, but leaving a gap for safety. 

"Why are you so questionable all of a sudden? I always thought that you would be the last one to question why you're doing something. You always seem so self-assured. Are you saying you want to back out?"

"Nothing like that," Asuka glanced seemingly randomly at a crack in the wall. "I just think.. sometimes I just want this all to be over. For a while, I thought it was over.. but it seems I've been dragged back again to save the world. Like that hasn't been done a million times before."

Reaching over to the table, Shinji gingerly swiped the piece of paper he'd been scribbling on and handed it warily to the brooding girl.

"I wrote down everything I could remember. If we're going to take advantage of any opportunities, the first would be this one." He indicated a title near the top of the page.

Skimming through, Asuka put the sheet casually aside, at last making eye contact as she voiced her thoughts.

"The party. Think it'll work?"

"It's the best chance we'll get. It isn't for a few days, though. I'm not sure if we should go into town - it might cause problems."

"We'll stay in then." Asuka retorted noncommittally. But Shinji could feel her feet digging into his back.

"Can't you at least criticise this, rather than stay quiet the whole time?" asked Shinji suddenly, her continual silence beginning to bother him.

"Why talk?" Asuka sat up, and moved over to him, leaning her head gently against his shoulder. "If it works, none of this matters anyway. You could cheer up a bit. Nobody likes a moody maytr."

The faintest hint of a smile appeared on Shinji's face, but he caught himself before she could notice. 

"I'm sorry. I just.. I don't mind dying, I really don't. But if anything happened.. with us.. I'd want to remember it. And I won't! So maybe it's better.. just to leave things. Maybe-" But the act of speech requires the passage of air from the mouth, and Asuka's lips were in the way.

It was raining outside, and the rivulets of water ran down the single window of the run-down apartment, two alike drops never taking precisely the same path.

--

Two Days Later

"It's as if he was born to become an Eva pilot, isn't it?" said Maya, visibly awed by the results of the prior test.

"But that's not what Shinji wants, I know he's not really happy here."

Ritsuko looked up from her terminal with a questioning gaze, but Misato was standing arms-folded and watching resolutely through the observation window as Shinji was retrieved from the entry plug.

"His friends noticed that I'd been promoted before he did. No, I don't care about the promotion. But sometimes it's like he doesn't notice the world around him. Like he doesn't want to acknowledge what's happening - like it isn't his life."

"If he was really depressed, his sync ratio would show it. I think some people are just naturally like that, wanting to avoid contact as much as they can. Usually it's attributed to a bad upbringing-" 

Ritsuko shut her mouth with an audible snap as she realised where her speculations had led her, but Misato, Maya and a number of the surrounding technicians were staring. Not at her, but at the black-clad figure positioned in the doorway.

"Your report, doctor?" Gendo spoke indifferently, giving no hint as to how much of the conversation he'd heard.

 "Report- uh, Shinji's up by eight points, Asuka by three. Rei has increased as predicted, and the curve indicates she'll develop rapidly from now until-"

"That will be all, doctor. Deliver the written report in person the minute it's complete. The committee are awaiting the results."

"I'll get right on it." replied Ritsuko softly, turning back to her screen and resuming her typing.

There was silence in the several moments following the Commander's departure, until the silence was broken by Maya's hesitant voice.

"So, what are you doing about this promotion, Major Katsuragi? You should celebrate.. or something.."

"Oh, I think we're doing something small tonight - one of Shinji's friends suggested a barbeque, whatever the hell that is.. just a quiet night in, really."

---

"Congratulations!" Touji, Kensuke and Hikari's combined shouts rang out above the dying blares of Misato's ancient stereo system. 

There had been a rush to change the track when "Fly me to the moon" came on, and the frantic button pushing hadn't done the deck much good. 

"Thank'ya guys!" replied Misato enthusiastically from behind her second beer. "Thanks to you especially, Touji," she added with a wink that left Hikari red-faced.

"Well, it was mostly Kensuke's idea really," admonished the jock, bowing mightily under the weight of her provocative wink, supplemented by the force of Hikari's elbow slamming into his back.

"That's right, I, Kensuke Aida, am the mastermind behind this dinner!" beamed Kensuke, his glasses glinting in a way that would impress even a Gendo-level master.

"Oh, well, thank you Mr. Aida," restated the Major, in voice lacking any of her previous enjoyment. 'That kid gives me the creeps.'

"No problem, glad to be of service!" Kensuke replied immediately, oblivious to her change in tone.

"By the way, what's Hikari doing here anyway?" asked Touji, attempting to recover from his spinal injury."

"For your information, Mr. Suzahara, Asuka invited me." Hikari replied politely and without malice, though Touji's yelp of pain and hasty change of seating told otherwise.

"Though I haven't seen from her since she opened the door." Hikari continued, sounding somewhat put out. "Shinji was outside trying to get in when we arrived, and he led her off somewhere the second he got in."

"He what?!" screamed the stooges in unison.

"Looks like those two are getting on well." Misato remarked dryly, finishing off her third beer, but pausing as she moved toward the fourth, obviously grappling with a line of thought. 

"But he said.. traitor!" ended Kensuke belatedly, crumpling into below the table level.

"They wouldn't do anything perverted, would they?" blanched Hikari, hastily reorganising her memory. "Shinji just said he had something to show her.. Waa!"

"Is something the matter?"

The quiet voice from the hallway was enough to jar Hikari from her horror-stricken thoughts, and she turned so suddenly that Touji, who had been inching closer with thoughts of comforting her, received a sharp blow to the side of the head. 

More curious still was the lack of an effect it had on him.

"Shinji, where have you been?" quizzed Misato, beginning to rise from her seat, but deciding otherwise from the sudden queasiness, and sinking back down to table level.

Shinji, for indeed it was he, was dressed in a somewhat crumpled top and was in the process of emitting a stifled yawn. "-uh, I was just having a sleep. Asuka said she was going to wake me up when people started arriving- but it looks like she left it a bit."

Kensuke's eyebrow twitched slightly as he took in Shinji's dishevelled appearance, and the connotations of Asuka being in his room.

"Tell us, man, when did you and Asuka start ..waking each other up?" he asked hoarsely, steeling himself for every minute detail of the torrid affair.

Hikari's expression worsened to petrified, and her only addition to the matter was to grab hold of and squeeze the nearest object to her in an attempt to lessen the tension. Touji whimpered.

"Start waking each other up?" Shinji paused to consider the question. It was obvious from the looks on his friends' faces that something was going on, and he decided to rectify the situation as expediently as possible.

"Around two weeks ago, I think. I was sleeping in and Asuka wanted me to make her a bento for lunch, so she came in and pulled the covers right off of me-" he stiffened, remembering Asuka's seething instruction on the event in question. 

"Oh, Asuka said not to tell anyone."

"I said not to tell anyone what?"

The room temperature dropped dramatically as Asuka closed the door of her room behind her with an audible crunch of weakened masonry. 

"What the hell's wrong with you people?"

In the silence that followed her vented question, she took in the crimson rash that has spreading throughout Shinji's face, Hikari's post-mortem ashen features, the frown visible on Misato's face behind her seventh beer, and the remaining Stooges' reactions of abject horror and total devastation.

"Whaaaaat?"

Surprisingly, Hikari was the first to recover. Rising steadily from her seat, she disentangled herself from Touji's lengthy arms and marched right up to Asuka, pausing mere inches from her face.

"How could you not tell me about this?! Call yourself a friend.." she huffed, and with that, marched resolutely onward down the hall and out of the door. A few seconds later, she returned abashed to the kitchen doorway.

"Thank you very much for having me, Ms Katsuragi." she declared solemnly with a blush, before returning to her destination outside of the apartment, this time not returning.

"I- we- we should be going too." mumbled Kensuke uncertainly, nudging and prodding Touji for some response. Upon receiving none, he did his best to drag Touji to the doorway, and with one final shudder under Asuka's burning gaze, left.

Silence reigned for several seconds following their departure, but was broken by Asuka's hesitant cough.

"Misato, can we discuss the possibility of an Angel using aerial bombing as an offensive weapon, because I think its important that we should be aware of every possible eventuality, and-"

"Shinji, do you have your cardkey?" interrupted Misato, clearly breaking out of whatever trance she had been in since his arrival.

"My- my cardkey?" Shinji fumbled perplexedly around in his pocket, and oblivious to Asuka's expression of sudden shock, produced a thin strip of scarlet plastic with the Nerv logo embossed onto the front of it. "You mean this?"

Misato's eyebrow rose visibly at this, but decided again commenting, answering instead with another question. "So how come you couldn't get in earlier on if you've got them now?"

"Earlier on? I didn't- umf!" his reply was cut short by Asuka's hand firmly covering his mouth, an action that only further confirmed his belief that both the house's inhabitants had been driven mad.

"Shinji's obviously still tired, I think he needs a bit more sleep before he answers such difficult questions." smiled Asuka through gritted teeth, doing her best to prevent the confounded boy from escaping.

"No, I think we should get this sorted before any of us goes anywhere tonight." Said Misato with a frown, rising from her seat and taking an unsteady step in the direction of the children.

"Or a walk! Let's have a nice walk in the park, eh Shinji? Just the two of us? Nod." Asuka enthused desperately, edging away as the Major closed the distance between them.

'Damn it, there's something odd going on here.' Misato mentally raged as the two teens disappeared in a cloud out red hair, their echoing footsteps fading away as Asuka led the startled boy as far away from the apartment as possible.

"Shiest, she's onto us!"

TBC

Footnotes: Chapter 3 will focus on the 'other' Shinji and Asuka arriving back at the apartment, if you hadn't already figured that out.


	3. The Truth, or Something Like It

N/A Productions' EvaMess

Second Encounter: The Truth, or Something Like it

_And that in turn brings me to the second question. What right did I have to send them, knowing fully their states of mind at the time of reversion, back to a world that had caused them such pain and grief? It's only right that you should know the facts, and judge me as you see fit. But what they have been entrusted to do will never receive thanks, nor ever be known of, should they succeed. My heart goes out to those two, and I prey they find solace for the mistakes I made so long ago. _

Anon, 2016

---

An observer watching the Katsuragi household might have been rightly confused upon seeing Asuka and Shinji leave the apartment at a sprint, only to return moments later at around the same pace. Also noticeable was that, while the pair had left with hands firmly grasped, they now appeared to be consciously keeping as far apart from one another as possible. 

'Odd, that.' thought Mr. Quesada, as he put his binoculars away and made preparations for bed.

Asuka was clearly the one most intent on reaching the apartment, for, cardkey in hand, she strode purposefully towards the door. Every once in a while she would shoot the pursuing boy a glare of unrestrained hatred, yet he continued on unabated.

Shinji for his part was making every effort to catch up to her, and was whispering sharply whenever he came nearest to her.

"Asuka, will you listen? Asuka!"

"I'm not in the mood for this, Third Child - you can keep yourself and your perverted fantasies away from me in future!"

All further progress in the direction of the door, however, was halted as the figure of one Misato Katsuragi emerged from the apartment. Turning awkwardly around to lock the apartment door, the Major was fortunate enough to experience German rage firsthand. For as the girl in question did a 180 to convey a final passing shot at the boy frantically gesturing for her to turn around, she remained oblivious of the Major's appearance until she slammed heavily into her.

Needless to say, Misato had a word or two to impart on the incident.

"Watch where the _hell_ you're going! I was about to go out and search for you- you'd better have a damned good explanation for this, young lady!"

Asuka faltered. The Major's opposition was unexpected, and it took her a moment to rise to the occasion in her usual manner. "Me? Why are you asking me? This is totally Shinji's fault – you always side with him!"

This was perhaps the worst answer Asuka could have given at this point, for much like the internal combustion engine, this angle of argument was the spark required to ignite all the resentments and grudges the older woman already bore against the domineering teen. 

Before the crimson haired girl knew what was happening, she was pinned up against the wall of the apartments with a very pissed off military officer breathing noxious fumes down her neck.

"Shinji, it's _always_ about Shinji, isn't it?" said Misato, her voice dangerously calm. The aforementioned teen had by this time caught up with the two of them, but could only stand and stare as Misato laid into the troublesome Child.

"I am getting _so_ fed up with this line of bullshit, Asuka! When are you going to start taking some goddamned responsibility for your own actions?"

"Shinji-"

"I said enough! I really don't care about the party, okay? I wasn't the one to suggest it, it was your friends and his," she motioned to Shinji. "I didn't really feel all that embarrassed, but I bet that they did – being stood up by their own friends. Did you even say 'hi' before you went off to- to- just what the hell _were_ you doing?"

"Misato, I think you're cutting her air off!" the dark haired pilot's frantic voice shook the Major out of her reverie, and she immediately let go of Asuka and took a few steps back to distance herself from the coughing girl.

This turned out to be the only lapse that Asuka needed however, for pulling herself up off of the corridor floor, she rammed her cardkey into the lock like there was no tomorrow. From there on, the sounds of her receding steps implied that she had bolted to her room.

"Misato, she just-"

"I know, okay?" the purple haired woman sighed heavily, "I had too much to drink... should have locked myself up in my room, not gone out like this. I'm... sorry, Shinji."

"It'll be okay," the young boy replied after a pause. He sat down next to her and tentatively put his arm around her back to comfort her. "Asuka- she's the strongest out of all of us. She'll get over it."

Getting to her feet, Misato considered the dark haired boy still seated on the concrete floor.

"I think I'll go over to Kaji's – see if he can cheer her up. Lord knows I won't be of much help. But first-" she pointed a finger at him accusingly, her smile fading slightly. "I want you to empty your pockets."

---

Meanwhile, Asuka was attempting to stuff as many of her possessions as possible back into their moving boxes. That she had barely moved into the apartment, and that many of the boxes still held their original contents, helped somewhat.

"Whatever the hell made me move into here in the first place anyway?" the goddess of the flame raged through a stream of bitter tears. "Crazy bitch goes schizophrenic on me, that idiotic boy's trying to arrange a date..."

She paused, considering what the male Pilot in question had said about his feelings for her, and the memorial park he'd taken her to. Where his mother wasn't buried.

This had cut deep. He was more like her than she could have imagined. Uncomfortably so. 

"And he knows, somehow," she whispered through gritted teeth. Memories rattled like chains from behind the barricades she had erected throughout her heart and soul. She dismissed them.

 "He knows how mama died." 

This alone warranted rejection to his offer, and she had already made up her mind to destroy whatever hopes he'd had of her admitting an attraction for him.

Yet for some reason, she simply hadn't answered. Perhaps she'd deemed him unworthy of such an answer, that he should know already how much she despised him. But for whatever reason, she'd simply walked away. And when he came running after her, he'd asked again. He'd persisted until the point at which the pair had come to the gates of the park.

At that point, Asuka had decided that enough was enough. It was a retort born out of annoyance more than anything, but the crushed look she'd received in reply – the broken spirit staring back out at her had been too much. She couldn't take it back, but she couldn't dwell on it either. And it hung there above her, like a sword ready to plunge downward at a moment's notice. If there was one thing Asuka couldn't deal with, then it was pure and unfettered _guilt_.

But she couldn't forget it, no matter how she tried. Her words came back to her as clearly as the mirror in front of her, and, swiftly wiping the tears from her eyes, she curled up on top of her bed sheets and fell soundly asleep. The words echoed hollowly in the small room, for she couldn't escape them, even in her dreams. 

"Not if you were the last man alive."

---

"Asuka borrowed it."

So, Asuka has your cardkey, huh?" quipped Misato serenely, feeling enthused at being in command of the situation once more. "So how come you showed it to me earlier when I asked you, hmm?"

Shinji froze. "When I showed you? Oh, yeah! Uh... she took it back again!" he answered, recovering quickly.

"Oh, really? Asuka must go through your pockets a lot," replied Misato teasingly. She wasn't prepared to let this one go quite yet. "Now about what you were saying earlier-"

However, fortunately for the younger of the pair and irritatingly for the older, Shinji's phone chose to ring, cutting his guardian off with its blaring tone.

"Hello? Oh, not yet. Yeah, she went inside. I'll call you back, okay?" Shinji ended the call quickly and looked up at the woman waiting patiently next to him with a guilty expression.

"Touji needs some help with his homework... I'd better get over there."

And with that, the interrogation came to a close. 

"At two in the morning?! And don't you need book for that?" said Misato quizzically, noting that her charge was in possession of nothing save the ever-present school uniform.

"No, its one of those oral things. The test is tomorrow, so he needs help right away. I'll be back later!" 

And with that, he was gone. Misato stood there for a few moments considering his narrow escape, before emitting a small sigh and reaching for her mobile to inform Kaji that she was coming over. 

She paused as the phone flashed up its newest entry in the address book. Just how far did she trust Shinji? Wasn't it her responsibility to know what was going on with him, what he was up to? But then, there was such a thing as invasion of privacy to consider.

---

The phone in the Suzahara household rang only twice before the caller hung up, and when Touji queried the number, it came up as an anonymous caller. Shrugging it off, he ambled back up to his room and promptly went back to sleep. He was to be woken barely an hour later by the evacuation alarm.

---

"Any change?"

"Still nothing. It seems our trip to Antarctica was delayed unnecessarily. The Tenth Angel has arrived as predicted, yet the Lance still awaits retrieval."

Shooting a glance to Ritsuko, who sat adjacent to both commander and sub-commander, Fuyutsuki coughed uncomfortably. "Could it be that by attempting to prevent a change, we are merely instigating our own failure?"

"There hasn't yet been any confirmation that these 'visitors' are those mentioned in the prophecy, nor has the Magi's analysis been completed," spoke Ritsuko carefully, typing away at the information that would soon be released to the Major and other afflicted branches.

"I'm going to need more data if there's to be any serious monitoring or investigation into this rumor. Limited access to the Scrolls, even guarded, might provide me with the information I need to set this up."

"Your request will be considered, Doctor." 

"In the meantime," Fuyutsuki gestured through the door to the bridge staff - frantically tapping away at their stations in hopes of further analyzing the current threat.

"We have an Angel to deal with. I'd advise you to consort with the Major, and provide her with any information pertaining to the bombing pattern. Dismissed."

As the door swung shut behind the blonde researcher, Fuyutsuki gave a warning glance to his former pupil. His response was a short and uncharacteristic laugh.

"I don't think she poses any real threat to the security of the Scrolls, if that's your reason for concern. Her access will be both monitored and accompanied. The good doctor has already dug herself far deeper than is strictly recommended into this matter. Let her tumble and fall, that she might right herself a little better for it."

"Few reports of their activity are a good sign. However, that there has been not a sign of them since first insertion warrants concern – we need to know their intentions."

Gendo smirked from behind his hands, which were as ever entwined with one another, as are snakes about their prey. "Like us, they are subject to the natural faults that befall all humans. Humanity and mistakes run so closely together than collisions are a fact of life. They will make a mistake at some point. It many not be large or generally noticed, but it will be there."

Carefully smoothing his collar-line and pushing his glasses higher onto the bridge of his nose, Nerv's commander stood and made his way to the private lift in the corner of his office.

"And in that moment, our opportunity will present itself."  

TBC

Footnotes: 

Many thanks to Seranov and Rapster for their respective suggestions and pre-reading - a welcome luxury, I assure you.

Unlike most authors who would provide you with a short and pointless o-make, I can pride myself in delivering EvaMess in its original form. No real plot, Joseph Katsuragi-Kaji, and a whole lot of Eva merchandise. Part 1 of 4. Acey said to continue it. *shoots Acey* _^^_

_"We have to go back and fix this mess."_

_"What, you mean Third Impact?"_

_"No, no. I'm talking about this shameless merchandising - look at the socks! Look at them! Rei socks, Rei slippers, Rei T-shirts, Rei mouse-mats, Rei dolls-"_

_"There's irony if ever I heard it," remarked Asuka snidely._

_"The list goes on and on. In any case, it is my intention to send you back to the future- the past, I mean. Your mission will be to foul up the series in such a way that the demand for such shameless merchandise will ebb. And if that fails-"_

_"We kill her!" exclaimed Asuka, with an enthusiasm that made the medical staff reconsider that 'mercy killing' issue that had arisen at her re-awakening._

_"Err, yeah," said Joseph, edging away from her. "That should do."_

_"Yes," continued Asuka, with a manic gleam in her eye. "Cut her up into little pieces and put them into sacks, and then-"_

_"Yes, quite."_

_And then suddenly and inexplicably appeared before them a white mouse, and did he squeaketh and nibbleth at the air as he was hurled from it and thrust to the floor. It appeared as if out of nowhere, before running off down the corridor, its progress followed by two children and an ageing doctor._

_"What the heck was that all about?"_


End file.
